Running away

I had a moment today...
A moment where I pictured myself walking out the door,
Getting in my car
And driving.
No turning back.

As I looked around me, I saw boxes still waiting to be unpacked,
Clothes that needed to be washed,
Dishes in the sink.
I had one bubba screaming and another child at my feet firing requests at my at hundred miles an hour and both refusing to sleep.

It was in that exact moment that I had my vision, one of driving away and never turning back.

You see in that moment I could completely understand yet again why some mothers do walk away from their families. This motherhood/wife/life gig is HARD.

The last few months have been crazy to say the least.
We found out that our rental property was being sold and it was time to look for a new house.
This meant packing up a house with three kids, a dog and a husband and life still rolling along.
There was the need to the house to be tidy for the numerous open houses.
In amongst that time I got sick. And with no time to stop and get better I soldiered on.
Well I'm still sick 6weeks later and now I have lovingly shared my germs with the rest of the household.

So I had a moment... The weight was to heavy to carry anymore. I cried A LOT, you know the 'ugly' cry that sees snot everywhere.
In that moment I pictured running away, leaving it all behind just to feel me again.
The 'me' is lost. I'm not quite sure where she is or when she will be back.
I'm hoping soon.